Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Confused Guys...Arranged Marriage....Stereotype Prevails...





It was just another Friday' when we office mates wish to go to a PUB for some good music and booze just adds on to make the stress busting effective...It was 6th Feb 09 . . The Pub we went to was 'the brew bar' at Phoenix mall, the DJ totally ruined our evening and our thirst for some good music only increased, the lousy music was lousy enough to call it quits to the brew bar and we are pretty sure of not going to this pub any more.......

We moved out of the bar and what we see - girls in mini's, or in little clothes, which didn't appeal to me, Have I come off age?? naa... I don't think so. I then realized I am not the hep! modern! Indian Male and am surely the one who appreciates beauty in suites and decent clothes(I am not at all saying I don't like girls in Skirts, but let them be a little decent :) ), well talking about the guys clad in D&G trousers, belts etc, who were running around kissing every girl they met were very much like kids not more than 17 years old and I thought Indian Rules of going to a PUB was 21 years Old and above...but as usual we conveniently by pass laws...

I guess after all the above we decided to go to the station(as we are'nt the guys who have hondas, mercs to travel back home :)) and surely we didn't want to miss the Last Local..

The walk and travel was of some 45 mins, this was good enough time to talk something CONSTRUCTIVE and chintu(name changed) asked bunty, monty, billu and me(vaibhav - cant change my name) .... following were chintu's Questions regarding Arrange marriage...

Would you ask the girl 'are you a virgin' ? ; what if she said NO and if she said said YES , what if she said was a lie which you realize after marriage?

Would you ask her about any relationship she had, what if she did have and what if it was a lie that she said she didn't have...

Majority of the participants very candidly agreed to that despite they might have had a relation or may not be a verile they still would strongly look for a girl with no past ... it sounded very much like typical stereotype Indian males and this was perfectly fine with this and there isnt any thing that stops from accepting this fact...kudos to the confidence males carry ...

Typically for most of us, these questions were a little disturbing as they only scared us more for an arranged marriage, one of us could'nt answer most of the above and surely did say the following..." I would rather not ask these questions and I would just say one thing, if at all the girl has had a past and she is comfortable talking about it, I am ok but i personally wouldnt insist in knowing the past, I am happy without mentioning it and I totally look into present and future; Surely I expect commitment and honesty in a relation I am entering"; Well as expected this answer wasn't taken well by most and there was a laugh loud enough for the guy to rethink whether what ever he was saying was right or wrong or was it making sense ......

Phew!! these were questions I always wondered couldn't have a perfect answer.

another question came up w.r.t. guys being possessive about girls, well this is where we all hit the same chord, we all would surely be possessive for our partners ...after all thats what a relation is for...care and total commitment and the new word thats pretty popular with girls these days - 'SPACE' is creating all the trouble and being a reason for discomfort....

its in guys to be possessive and the above is just not a good sign....

well ...would write more on Girls , Space and Possessiveness in another post..that would come soon....

Cheers!!

Vaibhav.............

5 comments:

Unknown said...

dude.. u are good with the writing thingy (atleast better than me) :)
And just one thing.. if i were with u guys that day, i wouldnt have laughed at your thoughts :)

vksingh said...

All the issues you've discussed in your post are the same things that go thru a girl's mind when family members start talking about arranged marriages (I can speak from personal experiences...).

Despite the inconveniences of an arranged marriage, one must be open with their 'potential partner.' And spend time with them so you learn the truth instead of just the 'words they'd say to please mama and papa.'

Allowing time following the initial meeting is essential to gain a sense of comfort with one another. Arranged marriages still have a higher success rate than love marriages.

But I'm just acting as a devil's advocate on this one :)

deepti said...

God....reading this it feels like giving "GALI" to guys..!!! Such a hypocrite you guys are..please add a girl's dimension to it also.. what wud she do if she finds out that her wud-be had not one but many so called "PASTS"...is it a women's habit to accept guys as they are.. ????? WAKE UP GUYS...there is someone who can "ACCEPT" or "REJECT" you based on this....very much similar to what you do..

Bharti Aggarwal said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

well...why cant guys stop being MCP's and practice what they preach....