Wednesday, October 8, 2008

UPSETS!!

Upsets- What sets them up?


I am upset with you;
I am upset with him….
I am upset because of you….
I am upset because I thought….
I am upset I couldn’t…..
…………I AM JUST…………
UPSET….. UPSET……. UPSET……

UPSETS …..Is something we all are bounded with, complains are all we have and reasons are all we give. Have we ever actually tried to understand the real cause for these upsets…? Since the fact is that upsets do not see a person maturity in age but in mind…..not the strength of ones body but the strength of ones soul.
However, we fail to understand the reasons behind UPSETS…Have we ever actually tried to analyze the reasons behind them???? Let’s put some light on the same….problems…then complains…and then reasons…and ultimately US…
What I discuss here are the reasons behind the above mentioned scenario that to be noted is a part and parcel of every body’s life and thus throw some light on the ever-consuming and omnipresent facts of life we refer as upsets.
But lets not do it an article way….same old reading stuff…..if we here are trying to solve your problems…lets involve you…..So what here I would suggest all of you is that abide with the following mentioned instruction… believe me it wouldn’t only make it more helpful but more fun too….

To start with think of a recent incident that disturbed you emotionally. Now rate over your experiences of the past few days and try to figure out if there was a distressing episode that perhaps left you unsatisfied and incomplete somewhere inside and concerned about you and your surroundings. Now what you do next is analyze this trouble and nail down the roots of its origin and it’s after effects.
Note... that the upset can be caused by any one of the three reasons mentioned below... Psychologically talking, no other reason is strong enough to trigger an emotional upheaval.

1. THWARTED INTENTION
Intention is something that differentiates between a murder and self defense….An intention is something that could change not the facts but circumstances we are dealing with. So here also when we are dealing with an emotional upheaval intention clears up the issue of WHY the thing happened actually. When we are upset in such a scenario we do not have a clear intention in the committing the act or doing the contemporary job that actually resulted in the upset or emotional breakdown and so perhaps back in our minds the intention does not get fulfilled as we desired it to be, we all know half baked cake is as good as no cake at all…..i.e. if the intention is not fulfilled completely we ought to become restless. This might have happened because of lack of commitment towards the cause, or say, a half hearted approach or difficulty in perceiving what the situation actually demanded, or rather not understanding what the situation actually demanded.

2. UNFULFILLED EXPECTATION
Another aspect that might just in Choate turmoil is an unfulfilled expectation. Like intention expectations are also weavers of unrest and disturbed mind in a human life. We expect from people in our surroundings to actually fulfill our requirements, keeping in mind the informality level amongst each other, in other words we want people to reciprocate the favors done by us. Reciprocations are a way of life when one talks of mutual sharing and understanding and if an act of help and assistance is not appreciated or responded to it produces emotional turmoil. This lack of response leads to a sense of disappointment which generates a sense of displeasure and ultimately, one gets entangled in the vicious circle of unhappiness and sorrow. This leads to a spiral effect and we keep spinning in it which can be overcome only by the will to let go things on and think new and afresh and to add on inculcate a feeling of giving and forgetting, because if you do not forget a favor done on others you are again tending to expect.” so forgive and forget”.

3. COMMUNICATION GAPYet another reason for emotional upheaval is the enough mentioned and talked about “communication gap”. At times people overlap the concept of forgiving and forgetting with speaking less. The failure to communicate properly what one feels is one of the chief reasons for misery and despondence. The fate of a relation lies on the communicating prowess of the people and hence, if a person is none the wiser about his/her counterpart’s feelings then it becomes awfully difficult to maintain a feeling of semblance which again creates friction and dissatisfaction because if there has been a thing that did hurt you and you are trying to forget it n forgive the person just for a simple reason that you read it somewhere and down in your heart you keep cribbing over it….its of no use to you or for that matter anybody, its your peace of mind that is being disturbed. Again this feeling of antipathy and numbness takes over which exacerbates depression and loneliness.

So if we closely scrutinize the troubles and problems we are having and try to find a driving nemesis behind it we will realize that each upset stems from one of the three above-mentioned causes.
So what we found is that to overcome an UPSET we need to stop blaming others and try to rectify our thought processes based on the above three reasons i.e.
1. Our Intentions
2. Our Expectations
3. Communication Gap
And formulate a plan of action to combat any upset we encounter then with full hope I can say we would be able to lead our mind into soul’s peace.
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